The past 3 weeks have felt like a re-birth.
Prior to David’s passing, I had a very different reason for connecting with the spiritual world. This event also made me realize that my faith was in need of serious strengthening. It took a death to gain more clarity about life, isn’t that something? David’s departure has left us stronger believers. I’m keeping track of the messages which we continue to receive and we pray that his spirit is being guided to the good side.
A couple of weeks ago I had to pick up the urn from the funeral home. I was really surprised by the weight of it because it was way more than what I had expected. I placed it in a durable bag and kept it extra secure by semi-cradling it while being super careful not to trip. On the way home, I decided to take a seat on a bench outside because the weather was decent. I had David beside me and we watched the sunset. Never in a million years, would I imagine spending time with my brother in such a way.
I am forever honoured for having God put David in my life. I plan to keep his memory alive in any way that I can. For example, I will never change my last name because we are the only family members with the Koch name. When my parents got married, my dad took on my mom’s last name to make her happy. After their divorce, she decided to butcher it from 12 letters down to 4. Some time after this, she re-married and decided on a hyphenated last name. Even to this day, my dad still holds onto my mother’s memory as he never bothered to revert back.
By our door, we left a pair of David’s shoes next to ours. My dad bought me a beautiful silver cross which has my brother’s fingerprint in the middle and his name engraved on the back. It’s a very unique gift and when I’m wearing it, I can’t help but check on it multiple times. We also have little heart-shaped urns on stands which contain his ashes.
Grieving the loss of a loved one is a very emotional time. It’s difficult to know when a trigger will set off the waterworks. I think about David every single day and the impact that he left on our lives. I will carry his name and belongings while I still exist on the physical plane. It is very comforting and encouraging to us that we’ve been able to receive communications from the other side. I trust and hope that these are positive signs letting us know that David is being taken care of.
This event has really forced me to dig deep within. I am taking great joy in re-building my relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. My focus has been on living life with greater understanding and purpose. I am in search of everlasting Truth which will not only serve me here but also on my awaited journey in the hereafter. I am not powerful and all-knowing enough to depend solely on my interpretation of what this is all supposed to mean. More than ever before, I am opening my heart to the possibility of miracles.
David and I shared a room for most of our time while growing up. We always had a bunk bed, stereo, T.V. and matching desks. We would spend hours watching television, playing video games and listening to music. We both have varied styles and interests so that worked well. Lately. I’ve been listening to a lot of Elton John. I remember my brother telling me how he liked Your Song and The Way You Look Tonight. If I were to choose one which closely resembles the way I feel about this situation, it would have to be Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.
God bless us all.