Great Grief.

In less than a year and a half, I got served with another dose of grief – my mother ended her life. It wasn’t a complete shock as she was unstable for a long time but my heart’s broken, again. The same night that I got the news, I woke up after a few hours and asked, is this over now? I just wanted to move on as quickly as possible because I was already buried in pain and anguish. My mom and brother were on a steep decline for the past couple of decades. Regardless, I am learning that it’s a grave mistake to rush or skip any steps in the grieving process. If things are left unaddressed then they will surely mount and inevitably a crash will occur. 
My mom was battling a variety of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual afflictions which only compounded over time. Within a year, she lost her husband and son so that didn’t improve her already fragile situation. A few weeks before her death, she confessed to an acquaintance that she was seeing shadows on the walls. At one point, she said that my brother had appeared to warn that the dark figures were not her deceased spouse. After her demise, I found a card to a psychic reader in her purse which I believe had something to do with the haunting visions. There is a reason why the Bible instructs us not to seek any mediums because it is dangerous to conjure up unknown spirits. Please heed this warning and share it with others because there are no shortcuts when dealing with our Creator. 
Isaiah 8:19-20. When someone tells you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? Consult God’s instruction and the testimony of warning. If anyone does not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn.
Through the years, I was a witness and an unwilling participant to a lot of dysfunctionality. Unfortunately, I had to guard myself against negativity which didn’t leave room for harmonious togetherness. It felt unnatural having to detach from the people I love the most but I wasn’t left with much choice. Despite best efforts, there was still a leak of toxic contaminants being spilled over into all parts of my life because I didn’t heal from the hurt. It was a real mess. 
By God’s grace, these tragic deaths compelled me to re-examine and rehabilitate the questionable life that I was living.
We are all under spiritual attack from evil forces which continuously wage war against us. The darts of worry, fear, inadequacy, emptiness and despair are just a few of the weapons used to accomplish our destruction. Now more than ever, the world is falling into deeper hopelessness and people don’t know where to turn. The enemy doesn’t discriminate when it comes to who he will infiltrate and torture. Even those who to choose to carry out his dirty work are not exempt from the bondage which enslaves them. The adversary receives immense pleasure from destroying God’s special creation because it breaks His heart. As a believer in Jesus, I am not immune to the disorder and the suffering which ensues. I still get plagued with temptations and transgress against a holy, loving God.
1 Peter 5:8-9. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
Every human heart comes fully-equipped with the disease of sin so that means we all struggle. Jesus’ primary concern has always been the heart because if it hardens then our entire existence will be characterized by painful wounds. One third of the Lord’s ministry consisted of healthcare so God is extremely interested in our well-being.  
Some days, I battle with the gloom and doom as it rages like a wildfire within my spirit. There is an undeniable awareness of chaotic unrest that translates into distress and discomfort. Rather than ignore or be overwhelmed, I cry out to the Lord for deliverance. The good news is that He never fails to console and encourage in spite of the hardships. The troubles don’t miraculously disappear but I receive peace to accept and persevere through the disturbance.
John 16:33. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Unquestionably, we are destined to experience trials because we possess a fallen, sinful nature. We should not feel guilty for being down in the dumps because this is an accurate response to our condition. But that’s not the end of the story because God has promised to fix this by ushering in a far superior, permanent world. If we believe in His word then that hope will carry us through all shattered optimism. We will no longer rely on fleeting hope which fluctuates based on emotions and situations. 
May we all rest in peace, now and always.