First, I would like to say Thank You for taking the time to visit as it truly means a lot to me. I hope that you are finding the content informative and to some extent, relatable.
It was 5 years ago that I set out to use this platform as an instrument of expression and communication. My intent was to share knowledge and experiences in order to bring light to a variety of life-related topics. On occasion, I like to take a trip down memory lane by re-visiting some of my earlier posts. As in the case with an embarrassing photo found in an album, an outdated opinion can be just as haunting. Since I dislike clutter, I’ll purge any material that no longer aligns with my newfound growth.
The element that heightens the act of writing is the baring of oneself because there is nowhere to run. It’s fascinating how much is uncovered when we bridge the gap between the internal and external. I’ve always taken great comfort and delight in the revelation of written words. As a kid, I kept a diary to process emotions and events by putting pen to paper. It was an opportunity to retreat into my own little private world of reflection.
In 2019, I encountered Jesus in such a powerful way that it forever altered the content which I would produce. An incredible shift in focus emerged as my faith was revived and activated. I was awakened to a new truth that would establish a fresh reality from which I could operate. On the surface, my conversion might have appeared like a sudden, knee-jerk reaction but this wasn’t the case. In hindsight, I am able to connect-the-dots and it’s really not crazy that I finally surrendered to Jesus.
My belief in God has roots that date back to childhood which means He wasn’t completely foreign. When I was around 4, my parents baptized my brother and I in the Catholic church. What’s puzzling is that neither of them is into the Catholic faith and of the two it was my mother who pushed the process. I didn’t know until recently and now it brings tears to my eyes that she wanted us to know God. Of all the things she did in her life, this was by far the most profound action ever taken in the right direction. Although I do not identify as a Catholic, I am eternally grateful for being introduced to God and Jesus.
Until grade 5, I went to two Catholic schools, Canadian Martyrs and St. Timothy. During that term, I was acquainted with church, daily prayer and theology. I remember attending mass at St. Timothy’s Parish, sitting in the front pew and watching Jesus on the cross. My heart was troubled because I couldn’t make wholistic sense as to why this perfect man was brutally hung to die. Despite the wonder, there was no doubt in my mind that He was unique beyond anything I could comprehend. Jesus planted a seed of faith in my spirit that would help provide hope to my shattered existence.
Given the early challenges with family members, I clung to God and never stopped believing that it would all work out. Surely, there had to be more than what I was going through. I sincerely wish someone told me that I could have a relationship with Jesus because that had the potential to change a lot. I always revered Jesus but He wasn’t real enough to put into practice due to the blurriness of His character. Sadly, I didn’t have any close Godly influences who could impart wisdom and provide clarity.
Once I left the Catholic school system, I was integrated into the public domain and further from Jesus. Mind you, I’d still keep a cross and gaze affectionately upon it but I was drifting out to sea. Nevertheless, He continued to make loving attempts to bring me back into closer communion with Him.
It struck me that 20 years ago, I wrote a letter to God at Christmas. In 2000, I went through an intensely taxing season with family however I could feel Him with me. The Lord created opportunities in the midst of the testing to provide support which kept my faith alive. At the end of that year, I decided to pause and appreciate God for sustaining me by writing a letter. It would be nice if I still had it so that it could be presented it as archaeological evidence.
In October 2005, I received a New Testament Bible. I don’t remember who offered it but I did manage to record the date and it’s still with me. What’s amazing is that it arrived when my heart was broken from devastation with family (again) and a personal relationship. I vividly recall making an attempt to read the first few pages and feeling inept to do so. I quickly abandoned the Bible due to discouragement and a lack of patience.
Another 5 years later in 2010, I stumbled across a bracelet with a cross that someone had dropped. Nobody tried to claim it therefore I kept it stashed away as part of my Jesus Christ memorabilia. It didn’t occur that this could be a sign to dig deeper so I blindly went about my life.
Another divinely interpreted connection is a tattoo which I had placed below the back of my neck. It was of the sun joined to a couple of stars which represented the Universe and its togetherness. A couple of months after my brother passed away, I was inspired to transform this piece into a cross. It took over a year to link the meaning of the tattoos to one another but when I did, wow.
I’ve learned that we are wise to worship the Creator and not His creations.
A month before David died, the Lord tried reaching out via an image and through people. It was a dark, rainy morning and I was heading to work. As I crossed the street, there was a picture of Jesus’ face looking up at me. He was in a puddle so I immediately bent down to get it and took Him to work. I put the Lord next to my stationery set as He continued to watch me. Within that same period of time, I was approached by two women on separate occasions and each asked me about Jesus. Since I was still far away, I didn’t have much to say and went my way.
Without Jesus, life can appear like a maddening disarray of situations with no rhyme or reason. It’s easy to fall into the trap of perceived neglect while feeling forced to figure it out on our own. Unfortunately, a sense of elusive hope persuades millions of people to take their own lives. It is beneficial to recognize that God designed us in such a way that the spirit absolutely needs His nourishment and restoration. Sure, He gave us the free will to refuse His participation but it is to our detriment. There cannot be real lasting peace or joy when we overstep the Creator. If there was, He would be rendered useless and we wouldn’t be struggling with ourselves and others.
As the calendar is set to turn, I’m taking time to run down the list of past highlights while meditating on a promising vision for the future. I do this type of thoughtful evaluation on a regular basis but there’s something uplifting about the expectant arrival of a New Year. I also plan to write another letter to God this Christmas because I’m way overdue.
In 2021, I pray for more transformed hearts to take refuge in the abundant goodness of our great Saviour.